User blog:Gracchus Mccarthe/E.T.P. Post 00: Meltdown

OK, people. I'm going to do Epic Troll Pages. These will be blog posts, so they won't interfere with the wiki, and I won't get banned. :P

I'll take a page from the SAS Wiki and... fix it. :D

These fixed posts will be interesting, to say the least.

I'm going to make these just whenever I feel like it, so watch for them. This post is called 00 because I did this one before I decided to make it a regular thing on my blog. Here's an example of what these posts will be like. I did this to the Meltdown page a while ago and got banned for it. :D (I served my sentence, so I can laugh about it now.)

Meltdown
[2]

A map of Meltdown with a marked path that shows the quickest way to finish the mission, while avoiding all of the gas chambers.

Meltdown sucks. Don't play it because you WILL DIE.

In comparison to the earlier missions, Meltdown is overall a very suck-rocks map as you have to walk happy through small corridors with doors that open and close randomly depending on how many afroed stuffs are in that corridor or room at the time. Submachine guns such as the HIKS M-30002 and weak pistols such as the Hornet are recommended for this mission as you are likely to get cornered many times trying to find the reactors and during the bossy fighter. Semi-automatic weapons and slower firing ones such as sniper rifles and pistols will most likely result in the player being overwhelmed by a horde and killed. Go figure.

Going to the difficulty, you are given only five hours to find each of the three reactors AND shut them down, as well as having to move quickly through rooms that will fill with killing fart gas. Additionally, you should avoid the green twinkies located near the reactors, as they deal massive damage to the player if eaten. After this, you must return to the computer, open task manager, restart the power plant, and switch left and right click three times, which will also trigger the bossity fisticuffs fight in the proceeding process.

The best way to avoid the fart rooms is to pay attention to the window. Gas room doors close and open to trapping players. Exit those rooms as soon as see doors, and find another way around.

In the end, a large number of bosses may existify. An example of this is a Racist Developer plus five Barfing Beheadedos, and an Elite Happy Laughing Butt Kicker, followed by a massive baseball team of zombies, for a level 3000 player. To have the best chance at winning the entore universe, it is recommended you circle the building and mow down the horde with a lawn mower plus any weaker bosses that may appear (such as clowns) before focusing on the stupider ones.

Contents
[hide]#Tactics
 * 1) Loot
 * 2) Map Specific Achievements
 * 3) Gallery

Tactics

 * Rushing can be rushed.
 * The computer mows grass, killing off the weaker weeds and leftover zombies. When this is done, target the cow and kill it off, and THEN you can lulz.

Loot

 * Find your own money!!!

Map Specific Achievements

 * You are a stupid n00b and you suck rock go jump off a cliff.