Board Thread:Off-Topic/@comment-31558039-20170411035448

(This entire post is a scripted interview with all the SAS classes, I thought it would be funny to exhibit some class stereotypes this way.)

(This is based on the TF2 meet the classes vidoes in a way)

(The events of this interveiew take place before the evnts of Vaccine)

(The is purely fan fiction ideas that was made by yours truely)

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MEET THE ASSAULT​

Reporter: How does it feel being an Assault?

Assault: Dude, can we make this quick? I got a mission to go to. Something about a planet and a Death Star.. or something along those lines..

Reporter: What's your backstory? Why did you join the SAS?

Assault: I was trying to get into the University of Oxford, but I couldn't afford the tuition. I learned the SAS were hiring soldiers and would pay with either money or a scholarship. I thought it would be a 2 year job, then I'm out, but the virus hit and they aren't pulling anybody out. After all this ends I really need to get into Oxford, my parents won't be happy if I don't.

Reporter: How do you feel about the zombie virus outbreak?

Assault: *sighs* When I lie in bed, and stare up at the ceiling, and close my eyes, it all kinda of seems... surreal. This is what you would see in like, The Walking Dead. But here I am, fighting off zombies all to get a college education. My life is pretty sad..

Reporter: Why did you pick to be in the Assault Regiment?

Assault: Assault seemed kinda cool, you shoot baddies, they give you tech that enchances your speed and movemnet, a weird knife, I kinda liked the job decsription. I mean, stabbing zombies is fun.

Reporter: How do you feel about your Assault Squad?

Assault: Don't get me wrong, I love every single one of those guys, but the fact they get to be teleported back on to the ship after they are done or out of ammo is BS. Why don't we get teleported to the medstation on the orbital ship when we are injured? It would be better than a freaking medic standing over my body defriblliating me a dozen times.

Reporter: Well, that's all the time I have for you... good luck in that mission

Assault: You stay safe kid

MEET THE MEDIC

Reporter: How does it feel being a Medic?

Medic: It feels good, I mean in a mission everyone needs me to take care of them and keep them alive. Its a good feeling helping out my teammates survive in this hell.

Reporter: What's your backstory? Why did you join the SAS?

Medic: I was on the space station Kurios when it was infected with the disease and was raided. We were working on regenerative cells up there. Combot told us to hide and wait for a shuttle that was departing soon, we sieged  insdie the vents for about 5 minutes before I heard the thrust of the engines starting. We all rushed to the door ramps, which were closing, I was the first one to make it across the line before it closed.

Reporter: What about the other scientists?

Medic: They died, a enraged devastator catched up to them and killed them all, the assault that was covering me managed to kill it before we took off. The SAS  said they needed me because I was the only surviving member of the science group that had the knowledge of the studies we did of regenerating cells, so they inducted me into the Medic Regiment.

Reporter: I am sorry for your losses

Medic: Sorrys won't bring back the dead

Medic: Well, I have to go to the labs, they need me again, they are testing some new "Antidote" thingy, they say they'll get samples soon.

Reporter: Good luck in your field

MEET THE HEAVY

Reporter: How does it feel being a heavy?

Heavy: *Grunts*

Reporter: Excuse me?

Heavy: Its is a "fun" job

Reporter: Sir, if this report is going to viable, I will need you to be more descriptive in our discussions

Heavy: Okay fine..

Heavy: Being a heavy isn't easy, but at the same time it is easy. You know how fun it is, putting bullets is into those walking abominations? Just standing their glowing with power, shredding all those worthless meat sacks into the bowels of hell!

Reporter: SIr....

Heavy: Oh don't get me started on shielders, those worthless excuses for riot guards are not compared nothing do my daughter Sara!! She will eat those little scumbags for breakfast with a double side of eggs with bread, toasted.

Reporter: You haave a daughter?

Heavy: Well...

Heavy: Not really..

Heavy: My HVM 008, I call her Sara, I have been with her since the beginning, she is like a daughter to me?

Reporter: Yes yes, what is the "beginning"

Heavy: I used to work at an HVM factory, I was assigned to making HVM 008s, Sara is the first HVM weapon I have ever made. When the virus struck, the SAS was asking all the companies who made weapons, HVM, Ronson, Smokestack, etc to borrow their workers to become SAS soldiers. All of the people in HVM were recruited to the Heavy Regiment because of our weapon handelment knowledge.

Reporter: How do you feel about getting new weapons?

Heavy: I really don't understand why I have to open all these damn boxes to get guns for myself. Can't the SAS just give me the weapon? Why do I have to find all these strongboxes they hide all over the place?? What is this, an easter egg hunt? Also whats with the ranks?? How does and Black change the quality of the weapon??? ITS JUST PAINT DAMMIT!

Heavy: This is a rumor..

Heavy: So don't take me seriously..

Heavy: But I have heard that HVM wants to secede from SAS and continue to be their own company. except more of a merc company.

Reporter: I don't beleieve you, HVM gets all of its money from SAS soldiers buying their products, why would they ever pull out?

Heavy: Hey, you didn't here it from me

Reporter: One last question before we wrap this up

Heavy: Gimmie your best

Reporter: How does it feel to be a part of a squad?

Heavy: Being in a squad is kinda fun, I mean, if the Assault is nice and the Medic isn't an assholes, you got yourself a pretty good team. If it works out right, you and your team could work out for a long time.

Reporter: Well, thats it hope you enjoy your time with Sara

Heavy: *grunt*

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